The surprise of unfolding

I have to credit today’s post to Luna.  If you haven’t been keeping up, she has had some potentially wonderful news!  A birth mother is very interested in having Luna & her sweetie become parents for the unborn little one.  Luna is aware that things could still change – there are 5 months still to go before the baby is due – but it does sound so hopeful.  I can’t tell you how happy this news was to hear!

As for me – today was a rather challenging day … I have been making tons of job applications in the past few days (well, maybe a dozen) and had a phone call to discover that certain conditions are not as favourable as I had hoped.  Then, I got a speeding ticket.  There’s also the fact that DH’s one year “anniversary” of being unemployed is fast approaching.  Altogether, not the most cheerful day!

Then I clicked over to Luna’s blog to find the following quote:

 “When nothing is certain, everything is possible.”

It did help to give me room to breathe.  This is how I’ve been feeling most of the time about our job situation – that there are so many possibilities.  It’s exciting in a way, because we just don’t know what path we will take!  But then there are days when I feel we are stuck here always, that we will never find a path to move forward on.  I am tired of being in suspended animation.  It would be great to make plans again, to engage in life again … oh, and yes, to be making money again!

It is odd how familiar these thoughts are.  A version of the same feeling was with me during our years of IF.  Personally, I would say IF was more wrenching and emotional and the hardest experience I’ve had to go through.  For DH, the job situation might claim “top spot” – an interesting difference between men & women, or between just our two characters, I don’t know.

Anyway, I am going to choose (or try to choose) to stay in the land of the possible versus the land of the it’s-never-going-to-change.  Right after I pour myself a nice glass of red wine, that is.

I am fortunate that MIL and I have a really good relationship.  We have our differences of approach and differences of opinion, but I think we can really appreciate each other and add to each others’ lives.  We also live a good few hours car drive apart, which may contribute to overall harmony  (DH & I are several hours away from my parents too, so we have a degree of independence from both families, but are still able to stay connected).

Anyway I am frequently impressed by the solutions MIL finds to issues that come up.  This particularly brilliant solution came about after SIL machine-washed her cell phone.  As she was lamenting its useless state, MIL suggested burying it in a bag of rice.  Hey presto, the next day it was working!  

If only I’d known this – or been able to think of it myself – before my friend’s cell phone went in the toilet … (it was in her pocket and as she assumed the position it fell in!)

I am excited to share this amazing soup method with you.   While the cold weather always brings out the soup-maker in me – after all, it’s a great way to celebrate the change of seasons – this year, I feel I have a miracle method that has stood up to every veggie I’ve thrown at it so far!

I should perhaps mention that part of the reason for all of this soup is trying to fit an extra veggie serving in at the beginning of every supper.  You know that diet advice about having a bowl of soup before eating … and I figured our veggie intake could use a boost … so this seemed like the perfect fit.

This method comes from the cookbook “Cranks Fast Food” which was recommended to me by a fellow blogger who I met during NaComLeavMo, around June I think.  I haven’t been able to track down the comment (even though I thought I knew who it was).  I hope to find it again and I’ll edit to add an official acknowledgement, because I am eternally grateful for this recommendation!  (and if you happen to be reading, please send me a message)

1.  Warm a good splash of olive oil in a high-sided pan (or pot).  I use quite a low heat, about a 3.  Chop an onion and smash some garlic cloves (I love garlic so I use lots!)  and toss them  in the pan to golden up slowly.  (I’m also looking to up our turmeric consumption, as that’s supposed to be good for you, so depending on the veggie I’ll throw in some turmeric and pepper when the onions etc. are close to being done.  Pepper helps make the good stuff in turmeric more available to the body).

2.  When the onions & garlic are soft & sweet, put in your veggie. 

3. Put in some veggie stock – depends how liquid you like your soup to be.  I normally just barely cover.  I would guess that having good stock that you really like is critical to this soup.

4. Let it heat through until tender.  (I sometimes turn up the heat here).

5. Put it in a blender and puree it.  The soup gets thick & creamy and so delicious! The colour is amazing too – bright green for peas, yellow for frozen corn, etc.

6. You can add milk to it when serving if you want an extra “cream of” but really the soup is velvety and wonderful and seems like a cream soup anyway.  Another idea is a dollop of plain yogurt or sour cream.

Veggies I’ve tried:

• frozen veggies – peas, corn, or green beans
• roughly chopped broccoli or cauliflower
• tomatoes
• spinach (I add a can of white beans to spinach) or kale
• mushrooms (I usually sautee in a separate pan, blend up the onion/garlic/stock, and combine the two later.  I like having actual mushrooms to eat in my soup).
• can of pumpkin puree

Another amazing feature to me is that I don’t usually need to add salt.  (of course the powdered veggie stock does have salt already).  I often will add some spices in if I’ve found a recipe that matches a spice with a veggie, but much more often I don’t add anything.  I did find that I much prefer it with veggie stock instead of chicken stock.

One pot lasts 1-3 days depending on how much veggie & stock I used.  For a really spectacular presentation, if you have 2 soups of different colours, you can ladle in one soup (say tomato) and then tilt the bowl slightly to add a ladle of different colour soup (say green pea).  The bright colours look so cool in the bowl!  

There is a blender to clean when all is said & done, but if it’s done right away it’s a quick job.  

There are other recipes in this cookbook (Cranks Fast Food) which have also been interesting and delicious.  It’s not the perfect one for us as there are many egg recipes, and also several where ground nuts are added for a texture purpose & I’m not sure how to substitute for that.  However this soup method is worth the cost of the entire book as far as I’m concerned. If you can browse it at a bookstore to see what you think, I’d highly recommend taking a look.

Please let me know if you try it out, what veggie you used, and if you love it as much as I do!

Here’s a question that keeps re-appearing at various points in my life.  How important is sizzle?  For those of you unfamiliar with the metaphor, my grandpa would say a person was “all sizzle and no steak” if they talked a good game but had nothing to back it up – if they  made promises and never delivered, for example. 

I would often think of this analogy in terms of friendships.  I’d rather be friends with someone who has integrity, a sense of humour, a generous heart, etc.  Considerations such as how fashionable they are, what they weigh, of if they run with the “cool” crowd just don’t matter so much to me.  

And yet, sizzle does come in there somewhere.  DH and I were friends back in highschool, and we made the transition to sweethearts sometime after that.  I just didn’t think of him in “that way” until a few things caused me to look at him in a new light.  One of those was the way he revved the engine in his car.  (Silly, I know!)  In some sense, I guess the turbo-charged Grand Am and the way he drove it did reflect a part of his personality I never knew before, and one that was certainly intriguing

A church sermon recently made allusion to this.  When the priest first came to our little church, apparently there was a big row of dead trees in the front.  When the parish committee met with him to talk about the needs of the church, the first thing on his list was taking down those trees and improving the appearance of the place – planting some trees, flowers, whatever.  Now to me, what goes on in the church is more important – is it a place of love & welcome?  I would have thought of improving the image as last on my list.  

Yet the image we present to the world is the first view others have of it.  I suppose it has some importance after all.  If a place doesn’t look welcoming, you aren’t as likely to go in and find out about it – to see if there is a “steak” there you are interested in.  (apologies to any vegetarians reading this!)  If you don’t bother to wear reasonable clothes, people may not feel comfortable starting a conversation.

Perhaps I carry a stubbornness about this because of some experiences in elementary school, where being in fashion was a big thing for the “in crowd” (which did not include me).  That’s probably where I decided that the substance of a person was much more important than their appearance.  But I extended that view to people who do care about their appearance, and enjoy being fashionable and elegantly put together, to suspect that they are more likely to be shells of people, more sizzle than steak.  That is, of course, a totally unfair and unwarranted assumption!

Also, I think I need to learn more about the sizzle, and figure out how to make it work for me.  Sooner or later I’ll have to wear some make-up regularly, learn how to manage my own wardrobe, and enjoy it all.  It’s not that I’m a mess now – DH, my mom, MIL, and SIL’s usually get me lovely clothes for birthday & Christmas, so I have decent things to wear, and I like to be comfortable and feel good.  My look tends to be more jeans & sweaters or jeans & blouses – very low maintenance.  Perhaps I shouldn’t be afraid to think about branching out from there.  Working on the sizzle does not need to mean there’s less steak … right?

Of course, with our current financial situation I won’t be renovating my wardrobe anytime soon!  I did hear a great program about consignment shopping though, and I think I’ll pursue that to see where I can go with it.  It’s just that I’ve almost made it a point of pride to not follow fashion, so to think of plunging in and trying to be aware of trends – that will be different.

I’d be interested to know – where you do rate the sizzle and the steak??  How important is appearance anyway?

Woo hoo !  This comes at the perfect time since I have many half-thought-out posts in my head but nothing to actually write.  I’ve been sick for the last week – not feeling so bad, but with a cough that is annoying & keeps me awake.  Usually I take Nyquil and get some sleep but last night I tried another medicine.  It wasn’t marked “non-drowsy” but I could feel my heart pounding away, so there was something in there that didn’t agree with me.  Hence today, on about 2 hours of sleep, wanting to post but just not quite up to it.

Until I got caught up with Portraits in Sepia and her adoption journey and discovered … I’ve been tagged

The idea is to give one word answers to the questions, but I may have to elaborate on a few …

1. Where is your cell phone? Long story.  The charger got all gooey with molasses so it doesn’t work anyway!
2. Where is your significant other? at volleyball
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? wonderful – in a quiet, loving, good listener, one of my role models way
5. Your father? wonderful – in a sometimes gregarious, sometimes hermit-ish, always loving way
6. Your favorite thing? being with those I love (but I need time to myself too!)
7. Your dream last night? scary
8. Your dream/goal? hit the elusive work/life balance – time for spiritual growth, to nurture relationships, exercise, fulfilling career, travel, etc.
9.The room you’re in? study

10. Your hobby? reading, cooking

11. Your fear? being in suspended animation (in regards to the employment situation) forever
12. Where do you want to be in six years? a house with a wood burning fireplace
13. Where were you last night? in bed, unable to sleep
14. What you’re not? a fashion plate
15. One of your wish list items? a skating rink in the backyard
16. Where you grew up? Southern Ontario
17. The last thing you did? snuggled w/ DH before he left
18. What are you wearing? jeans, soft sweater
19. Your T.V.? probably the cooking channel
20. Your pet? don’t have one, would like to get a dog someday
21. Your computer? window to the larger world
22. Your mood? tired
23. Missing someone? girl friends I haven’t seen in awhile (but will see in a few weeks) 
24. Your car? stick-shift!  I loooove driving standard  OK, so it’s DH’s car that is standard.
25. Something you’re not wearing? socks (unlike everyone else who’s done this, I am wearing underwear!!)
26. Favorite store? hm – a book store
27. Your Summer? good
28. Love someone? Yes!
29. Your favorite color? green
30. Last time you laughed? this evening
31. Last time you cried? yesterday afternoon

Now YOU are tagged!

Hairy Farmer Family

“Just” a Stay At Home Wife

A Soldier’s Girl

Breeding Imperfection

Candid Engineer

Tragic Optimist

Barren Wheatfield

I mentioned avoiding BPA-containing cans in the initial food chronicles post, and this is a bit of a tangent.  Part of the whole healthy/sustainable living quest will eventually involve replacing plastic food storage – the Glad & Ziploc containers that usually hold my leftovers, or extra batches of soup or sauce, the ziploc freezer bags that hold various things, and other plastic containers in general.  While this has been percolating in my mind, no solution presented itself until my brilliant friend D made me a treat she had cooked – in a small mason jar.  Voila!

As it turns out, she’s begun using Mason jars for food storage.  Apparently you can get small ones (125 mL) and large ones (4 L) and many sizes in between.  D says they go in the fridge, the freezer, can be sterilized in the dishwasher, and are easily available and not too expensive.  How, how, how did I miss such an obvious solution??  And how many “duh” moments will I have this month?  But  I am glad to benefit from D’s wisdom!

I haven’t yet made the trip to the basement to bring out Mason jars, or looked around for a greater variety of Mason jar sizes, but I am looking forward to replacing my plastic food containers.  I don’t think I’m ready to let go of Ziplocs yet.  (Every time I use them I remember a line from a radio show, about how every bit of non-degradable plastic manufactured is still with us today.)

Along the same lines, I’ve been really happy with the Laptop Lunchbox/Bento Box that I purchased a few months ago.  I love bright coloured containers, and the fact that I don’t need plastic wrap or sandwich bags.  It’s been so much fun to think of what to put in each container to enjoy the contrast of colours, and what will fit where.  It also fits only a certain amount of food, so that’s automatic portion control; plus it encourages variety for the different containers, which has encouraged me to up the veggie intake.  The one thing I would change is to have lids for the smaller containers too – if I want to pack a yogurt it must be in the bigger container.

According to the website “we manufacture our lunch containers here in California using plastics (polypropylene and polyethylene) that are FDA-approved for food use. We do not use any binding agents or plasticizers in the process. We do not use any materials that are suspected carcinogens or endocrine disrupters”  Apparently it is also possible to recycle the plastic that it’s made of, although everything in the set seems very durable and I don’t anticipate needing to recycle anytime soon.

I’d really like to hear any brilliant ideas that have come your way (or come from your own brain) in a quest for healthier eating, or more environmentally friendly eating.  I’m wondering how many more “duh” moments are in store for me!

One of the books I read this summer was Collapse, by Jared Diamond.  It was a fascinating look at many different societies throughout history, and the choices they made that allowed the society to survive – or to collapse, sometimes with no survivors.  (population being too big for food production to support is a very common theme in the collapses).  It is a BIG book but I had a hard time putting it down.  Examples range from modern-day Montana, to ancient Easter Island, Greenland, Iceland, the Maya civilization, Japan, Rwanda, Australia, China … so many different stories.

One part that really caught my attention was control of population growth.  Diamond gave 2 examples (and others) of this occurring in an obvious way.  China is an example of the legislated, top-down “one child per family” law. The other was a small island, I believe in the South Pacific.  (the book has been returned to the library, overdue, and I didn’t make notes at the time).  This island is small enough that you can walk the entire perimeter in about a day, maybe less.  The consequences of too many mouths to feed are obvious to everyone on the island.  There are a few strategies in place to make sure the population does not get beyond the food support:  late stage abortions for families that have the accepted norm of children; groups of adolescents occasionally setting out into the ocean in canoes to go adventuring (sometimes to their deaths in this perilous venture, other times to emigrate or bring back new spouses to mix in with the gene pool); but also choosing to be childfree or “celibate.”  In this context celibate does not mean refraining from marriage or sex, but it does mean being committed to not having children.  

It just really made me think.  In this society, those who choose to live childfree probably have a well accepted and celebrated place.  They are making a sacrifice for the good of the entire society.  That choice may be attractive because it possibly brings a more carefree life.   I would imagine that those who do have children see them more as everyone’s children, to be loved and shared and adored by all.  It makes me think of the whole “it takes a village to raise a child” idea, where the children in a sense are cared for by everyone – and the elders of the population are cared for by all as well, having had an important role evident to everyone, whether or not they have children.  (please note these are my own thoughts – I’m extrapolating here.)  

I can’t imagine what the freedom of choice or pressures to choose one way or another might be.   It makes me wonder – if our society was different and truly embraced childfree as a choice – if it were a celebrated and honoured choice – how that would change the experience of living without children for those who arrive there by choice and also by infertility.  The dynamics of our societies being so big in comparison to this island, and with such great land masses – it means we are disconnected from each other, from our food supply and how much growth we can support – and from how much we could need and love each other.  (Mind you, there are distinct disadvantages of small societies where everyone knows your business too!  I could be thinking of this in a light that is too romantic).

Once I get to the library and pay my (bleeping) fines, I will probably take this book out again to re-read it more slowly.  It does make me wonder where our world is headed – if we can make the choices to improve our planet and our lives, instead of the choices that would lead to collapse.  I hope we can!

(NOTE: children mentioned)

It feels like ages since I’ve posted.  Many virtual posts have been written in my mind, but this is the first time in weeks I’ve actually sat down to write!

As a quick update on us – still no job for DH.  There is an interesting lead for a job he’d like – it would involve a cut in pay and in position, but if he’s interested I think it could be a good move.  I don’t know yet if it would be lower stress, more flexible time, etc.  I am looking at a shift in career, which involves upgrading of language skills (French) and possibly a couple of courses.  I am not 100% sure this is the way we’ll go, but it is an exciting possibility.

DS (4 yo) started junior kindergarten – full day, every day.  It has been exhausting working through his food allergy & asthma issues with the school, but I am so VERY happy with how they approach all of this.  I don’t mind doing the extra work they ask me to do, if it will keep him safe.  So far he adores his teacher and is absolutely loving his class.  On the difficult side, there has been a surge in independence & testing the boundaries.  This is entirely normal, and in fact healthy, but can still be very frustrating to deal with!  Also we need to find a new rhythm or set of routines to help us cope, and we haven’t quite settled yet.  On the medical front there seems to be something going on with DS’s stomach – it is hurting him at odd times, and started a month before school began, so I don’t think it’s stress.  The doc isn’t quite sure either.  It seems to have begun after a course of antibiotics so we are trying probiotics to see if that will help.

DD (2 yo) misses her brother very much – which is very sweet on the one hand.  But then, she also is going through a stage of stubborn independence that is a challenge.  (repeat the earlier sentence about this all being normal & healthy).

It’s been 8 months of unemployment (thankfully with a severence, but that was for 7 months) and the stress is getting to us a bit.  I am so hoping & praying for something to come our way.  Also DH’s doctor is insisting he come in since his blood lipids are “very elevated.”  I googled it and of course – stress can raise the lipid levels in the blood.  Thank goodness we have a vigilant & caring doctor.  But I hope we/he can manage this without having to take medications.  If he needs them, he needs them.  I am nervous of statin drugs (bad side effects for my grandpa & dad) and dh is only 38.  There’s no research that I know of the effects of taking these meds for 50+ years!  Still, if he’s in high risk for stroke territory, better to take the drugs than not (I guess)?

So we are still living in the hotel room at Stress Central – though at least we have interesting diversions like the Canadian election (ok, not so interesting) and the election of our neighbour to the south, the USA (much more interesting election!)

Life has been so busy lately – but I think we are finally calming down a bit.  Between taking a little holiday, hosting a party at our house (involving drastic tidy up, clean up, and relocating furniture into the night right beforehand, with rain in the weather forecast), catching colds, doctor appointments, etc. – well, my blogging & reading has suffered.  

However, I did want to say what a lovely time DH & I had for our anniversary the other night!  We spent the actual day at home (though we are going out for a romantic dinner on the weekend).  DH planned out a wonderful evening.  I was busy finishing up a few things upstairs until he was ready for me to come down.  Here are some of the things that made it so special.

- a card with a letter that brought tears to my eyes and a huge smile on my face.  DH often finds it easier to express emotional things in writing.  I will treasure this card always.  (I thought it was taking him such a long time to drop off dry-cleaning.  I bet he was in the coffee shop writing in this card instead!)

- candles all over in our kitchen/family room area of the house.  I love candles!

- an order-in dinner with sentimental value … on our 2nd anniversary we had just gotten possession of our first house, so we picked up Chinese food and had our anniversary dinner sitting on the floor – with a bottle of wine saved from our wedding – and a bit of the top cake layer which had been frozen.  We don’t have Chinese food often so it has a connection for me.

- music which also has significance to us.  Johnny Clegg & Savuka “Cruel Crazy Beautiful World” – from our courting days.  Steven Curtis Chapman “Greatest Hits” – our wedding song is on this album.  Vivaldi “The Four Seasons,” played by Nigel Kennedy.  He is an amazing violinist that DH discovered before we were married, and that’s the music we played for our wedding meal.

- dancing to our wedding song “I Will be Here for You” by Steven Curtis Chapman

- a lovely gift which makes me feel beautiful & special

- a massage by candle light.  Years ago DH & I took a massage class together – something I would highly recommend!  We both enjoy the relaxation a massage can bring.  While professionals are great I actually prefer DH – probably because I’m just more relaxed with him anyway.  We even invested in an adjustable massage table since I am short & DH is tall, and we don’t want one person getting injured while massaging the other. Another benefit of massage is it can lead to pure relaxation and sleep, or it can go in other directions  

- watching the Olympics (too) late into the night, snuggled up on the couch.  Although Canada hasn’t won any medals yet … I enjoy watching these amazing athletes.  Michael Phelps is something else, and gymnastics is always a favourite.  Unfortunately it’s adding up to some sleep deprivation!

In other news, we are still waiting for good news on the job front (DH’s fortune cookie just said something about “relax and be happy” while mine said “success is heading your way.”  Hmmm).  I am still confident that something will come our way – I just hope it will be soon.

(some religious content)

I’ve been hiding from the world a bit lately.  I can understand doing so in real life, but it is odd that the same thing would happen on-line.

It’s not that anything really bad is going on – for which I am grateful.  Perhaps it’s feeling a bit stuck in a rut.  DH got all the way to the end with another job, but they gave it to the other candidate.  DH (IMO) is an amazingly great guy and worker, and I think what must be happening is that he impresses them at interviews etc. so he progresses forward, even when the job isn’t exactly what he has done before.  All this time & energy goes into the process, and at the end they decide on someone who has more directly relevant experience.  It’s happened 3 times!  Then, he had an interview for a job he really wanted, but he just wasn’t on his game and “bombed the interview” (his words).  I don’t know whether to file that in “bad things happen to good people” “$&it happens” or “God has other plans.”  The cycle of hope, anticipation, and then crashing is not fun.  (sounds a bit like a TTC cycle doesn’t it?  I asked DH what was harder for him, and he said probably the job search cycle, since it is something one *ought* to have more control over). 

Anyway we are hanging in.  I go through spurts of having the house tidy-ish, laundry pretty much caught up, good food (lots of veggies) and me eating well (not too many carbs, only 1 cup of coffee, etc).  Then we go through times when it all falls apart and we are ordering pizza and frantically trying to match socks.  Ugh.  I much prefer the more organized living but sometimes it is hard to climb back up there – at least for me.  It makes me wonder if other people really go through this, or if I’m just lazy, caught up in inertia, not domestic, etc etc.

Yesterday was a pretty rainy, grey day until late afternoon.  I was sitting at the computer, looking out the window and thinking how I really should get outside while the sun is shining.  I thought about all the benefits of fresh air, a little walk, hearing the birds sing, etc.  But it wasn’t enough to move my butt from the chair.  At last I said a little prayer along the lines of “God, please help me to get outside.  I’m not strong enough to do this on my own.”  (I know, pretty sad that I can’t manage to get outside isn’t it?)

5 minutes later the doorbell rang – a friend of mine who was going for a walk happened to stop by just in case I was home, to invite me out for a walk.  It’s a bit unusual for one of us to just drop in on the other – usually we call first – so this was unexepected.  I got myself into fit-to-be-seen clothes and outside we went.  It then occured to me, you could say she’s the answer to a prayer   Isn’t that funny?  It could be pure coincidence.  It could be energy vibes or a disturbance in the space-time continuum.  Or it could be that an angel gave her a nudge.  I don’t know. 

But it was good to get outside for a bit, and helped me to feel better.  See, I’m even blogging again