It has been so very long, I doubt anyone is still “out there” … it has been a very rough go for awhile now. While there are many blessings in my life and I am thankful for them every day, I am struggling. DH is working on starting a business as well as keeping an eye out for employment opportunities. Finances are really tight. I am teaching, not in my area of expertise or at the age level that I would most prefer … and while there are many things that are really good about it, it is difficult right now. My current quandry is whether I should talk to my doc about some medication for depression/anxiety/stress, or just power on through to the end of the year and see if things improve. I wonder if I was stronger in meditation, prayer life, etc … if that would get me through instead of medication – since I’m pretty sure my current state is due to circumstances instead of a biological cause. (although my good friend reminds me that being in stressful circumstances can induce the biological changes, so perhaps that argument doesn’t hold water). I guess another question on my mind is, how do you know if you need pro.zac (or some other such help)?
But – to my main question – as I realized over the preparation for Easter and Easter weekend – I’m not sure I know the difference between repentence and guilt. Other than, I feel that I am heaping guilt upon myself for all that I don’t seem to be able to manage right now, and that is distinctly not helpful! In reading a recent book about Celtic Christianity, there is a mention of repentence and how healthy and freeing it can be – totally opposed to guilt which seems at this point to have no positive to it as far as I can see.