So, I am slogging through trying to get done what I must before I can focus just on recovery. It’s going slowly. I am sleeping quite a bit, and I feel better already.
And – I am daydreaming again. Idle, futile, silly daydreams.
Wouldn’t it be lovely to have twins … say, a boy and a girl … hey, let me google “twins after 35” or even “twins at 40” since I would be 39-40 were this to occur. (let’s totally ignore our past history, the fact that we are just about 100% unlikely to take any meds for fertility at this point, and the fact that we can barely afford life as it is … wouldn’t twins be wonderful?)
And, oh, the smaller space we’ll be living in soon would have to be adapted … anyway they could share one crib for awhile, couldn’t they? … and perhaps family would come help out for a bit but then we might need to hire an ECE student or someone to help out so that one baby could be cuddled while the other is being nursed (see above paragraph re: reality of finances). And just imagine the family photos, and Christmas stockings, the first day of school, family holidays … oh I can take lots of time here …
Well, the daydreams are nice while they are in progress, but I wonder if it’s a bit like eat a big bowl of popcorn or gobbling up 6 Oreos in 3 minutes (both of which I think I have done in the past 12 hours). It feels good while you are doing it, but ultimately it isn’t good for your body or your psyche. I’m sure the time and energy would be better spent on a more worthwhile pursuit – meditation, doing my work, cleaning the kitchen. But it’s nice to live in daydream world for a time.