I met J this year when I started at my new school. She and her DH conceived easily enough a few years ago – miscarried around 8 weeks – and since then, nothing. They have done some tx and are undergoing more testing etc now, but they are also on the adoption pathway. While the bio connection would be wonderful, J has told me (with tears in her eyes) “I just want to be mommy to someone. I want to be a mom.”
They are listed with the CAS of our region, and they and one other couple are being considered for a pair of boys (I think, about 6 yo and 4 yo) who have had a rocky start. They are brothers. One of them really prefers girl type things (Barbies etc) which may be the reason why the first adoptive family they were placed with sent them back to CAS. I believe there may a concern about ADHD or something as well (that does not phase J, as she has managed that as a primary teacher and feels comfortable that she knows the benefits and challenges of this diagnosis.) Now the boys are in a loving and stable foster home, but really a permanent adoption situation is what they need and this is being pursued.
This week, J and her hubs have the 2 boys – as a “relief family” kind of thing, I guess it is commonly done in the fostering system here, where the children go for a week holiday at a relief family’s home. Except, part of this is for J and her hubs to get to know the boys and see how they do in their home. In a couple of months, the boys will go to the other family to see how that week goes there. Then I suppose, things may move forward for one or the other couple to become the adoptive parents, if everything works out.
Please send out good thoughts and prayers for J, her hubs, and these little boys. I am praying for the best placement possible to come here, the best outcome for the boys and the two couples. J and her hubs are hopeful, and I am hoping for them, but I am also thinking of this other couple who must want to adopt as well. I can’t imagine the meeting of the social workers where they make these decisions, all of these peoples’ lives, hopes and dreams hanging in the balance.
Please think of them.